Friday, March 17, 2006

Favours and Exploits

One sunny afternoon at the fruits market...

(Moi salivating at the sight of the custard apples, picked one up and passed an adoring palm over it. Shop keeper walks over with an appreciative smile)

Him: Imported from Australia, $15 per kg
Moi: (gasp) hao gui ye <very expensive>
Him: Oh these are very nice and fleshy, few seeds, guaranteed sweet. anyway, these days all the imported fruits are getting more expensive. look, even the oranges from florida has seen much price increments!
Moi: Well, how much for 1 custard apple then?
Him: Its $6 for the small one but i'll let you have 2 for $10 and $13 for the large one
Moi: Oh, can i just have one small one for $5? my husband's not into exotic fruits and i won't be able to finish the large one all by myself
Him: No lah, can't sell you at cost you know. anyway, you've got a baby to feed also mah
(mmm... little evil plot brewing)
Moi: (sigh, shrug, pout and a rub of the belly) oh yes, my baby would sooooooooo love a custard apple... but it's really a little dear for a fruit, too extravagant... (gently place fruit down and with a wry smile) sorry and thanks a lot... (starts to walk away with hands on tummy)
Him: Wait... ok lah, ok lah, $5. This is for the baby ok. Alot of vitamins you know, good for the brain...

he couldn't have said it better

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Seven deadly SINS of Pregnancy

It is hardly surprising that a pregnancy will cause certain changes to a woman's personality and attitude on top of the usual physical changes. But what's less commonly known is that it has a darker side than what most of us had anticipated...the seven deadly sins! You've been warned! Read on...

1.Sloth
C'mon, own up. How many of us have started blaming the unborn one for another extra couple of hours of sleep even though we're already right in the middle of the second trimester, citing inexplicable fatigue? I even have a medical acronym for it: SASS- spinal adhesion to soft surfaces. My hubby is not convinced. He thinks LAZY is more appropriate. ah, what does he know? he hadn't even got a womb!

2.Envy
As I journey on towards 'fattydom', putting on more weight than my O&G will approve, i found myself sussing out the other mum-to-be's in my pre-natal yoga classes. the circumference of their arms (mine have developed dangly bits from its once tone and taut beginnings...sigh), the size of their butts (comments about my rear has gone from the compassionate "oh, its only normal that it will expand slightly" to the downright sarcastic "they don't call it childbearing hips for nothing"), the girth of their thighs (my thighs who were like two estranged neighbours have now become the best of pals, forging fiercely ahead with diplomatic meetings all day long), etc.

My jealousies and insecurities have totally creeped up on mbe and this leads me to the next sin...

3.Greed
Shopping has become in recent months, my no.1 addiction, near surpassing the daily latte. I've snubbed the kind donations and offers for hand-me-downs, choosing instead to invest in a brand new wardrobe that is able to showcase my newfound 'cleavage'. i am totally in love with my new body and this has culminated into the not-too-occassional promptings of : "oh, i see you've BLOSSOMED" to "You're looking FULL in more ways than one"

Well i'll say.. you decide what kinda mama you want to be. Me? non frumpy, tres sexy!!!

4.Gluttony
Well, with all those gorgeous clothes, there is a certain pressure to maintain at an acceptable BMI. so while i am trying my darnest to control my ravenous appetite and consume only what is healthy( thus urghly) for me and the baby, i inevitably find myself making excuses when i gorge on the ice-cream and durian puffs: 'The baby can probably benefit from the extra calcium in the ice-cream!'

5.Wrath
And don't i get really annoyed when people start saying that i shouldn't be eating this, drinking that, hanging out at where, staying up late, saying negative things for fear baby can hear. Nag, nag, nag. lovers and strangers alike. and mostly unsolicited...

6.Pride
Well, perhaps the least common manifestation of the 7 sins during pregnancy. probably the only thing worth being complacent about is the fact that hubby and i couldn't even determine exactly when during the honeymoon the baby was conceived (ahem, we WERE going at it like rabbits) and yeah, we scored a goal when most of the competition were still warming up!

7.Lust
Which leads us to the final sin, LUST, which has, since i'd become pregnant, been replaced with FUSS. i'm constantly complaining about the discomfort in my belly, the ache in my back, the swell of my breasts and the awkardness of the positions. This has undoubtedly causes some 'strain' in my regular consummation with the daddy-to-be. Although, he has recently come up with a brilliant suggestion... to which, thou shalt not divulge. (hey! this is a blog, not a sex forum! Get your own ideas!)