of uuhs and urghs...

Nothing fails to irk me more than the unsolicited guesses by almost every other person on the gender of my unborn baby. a typical exchange goes like this:

(Meet with stranger for the first time in a company-sponsored computer course. Strike up conversation with stranger during coffee break)

Stranger: So when are you due?
Me: July, looking rather ripe for a 5 mth old huh.. (i managed a little self-effacing laugh)
Stranger: Yeah, you're quite big for a 5 mth old, it's gotta be a boy
Me: Oh i don't know...
Stranger: You don't want to know?
Me: Oh no, i just haven't gone for the scan yet. Anyway, it doesn't really matter since it's my first.
Stranger: It's definitely going to be a boy. i can tell. i've had 2, i should know
Me: Oh yeah? (like i care) how so?
Stranger: Cos your tummy is sharp, low and you haven't got much meat on the side of your hips.
(I've put on 7kg in my first trimester which has almost entirely gone to my hips for goodness sake!!!)
Me: Well, i don't really buy into such housewives' tales actually...
Stranger: (Defensively) Absolutely not! when i was pregnant with my boys, i knew before i'd even scanned, and i'm right! Both times over!
Me: (Patronisingly) Oh wow...
Stranger: Yes, i was just like you. Big swollen nose, haggard eyes, sallow skin... (argh! and she simply has to pile on the insults?!) it's the hormones you know.
Me: Oh, think the class starting soon, better go grab myself a coffee first. Nice chatting with ya!
Stranger: (voice trailing in the background) Aiyah, how can you still be drinking coffee............

No Coffee?! Now, don't even get me started there...